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So I am 21. My birthday has come and gone and once again thank you to everyone that helped out and did there thing to make it a special birthday. I began thinking the other night (it didn't help that I was drunk) that I need to grow up. I want certain things in my life and I need to chase after those things. I was a fucking dope ass DJ. Like FUCK I had everything I could ask for at one point. I had a great job, girlfriend, hobby, school, and friends. Then in one second most of it came crumbling down.

I need to stand up again. The last couple of years Ive been laying down with my head in the pillow. I know what I want in life and I kinda just don't know how to get there.

If you guys are reading this you are probably someone I know. You know how I am. I text or talk to you at three in the morning telling you about my problems. I was talking to someone the other night and they asked me about therapy. Trust me when I say I don't think I am crazy. I think I am fine. I am not yelling about jumping out of windows or anything. I just need confidence. What happened to the old me. I used to be so confident in myself. Now I barely know myself.

I need to find the things that make me happy. Music is always there and most of my friends are always there too. For once I WANT TO BE HAPPY